iExam #1

Jesuit ideals focus on the dynamic processes of self-awareness. This process is a spiritual self-review where we observe God’s presence in our daily lives. For the entirety of one day, I observed the way I communicate with others not only face-to-face but screen-to-screen. I was surprised to become aware of the various factors that go into communicating beyond just using words. This Thursday, September 28th I paid extra attention to the methods I use throughout my day to communicate effectively and clearly with others.

I am apart of a volunteer program here at Loyola called Health Outreach Baltimore. At Health Outreach, we travel to Mercy Medical Center every week and advocate for various resources that are offered to underprivileged patients that they might otherwise not be aware of. I work in the Mother-Baby unit and during my shift on Thursday, I knocked on the door of a young woman and her boyfriend. I entered and introduced myself and our program asking if they were interested in hearing more about it. The look on both their faces led me to think I interrupted a special moment between them and their newborn son, but they looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and invited me to continue talking. I was overwhelmed because I now felt the pressure of not only two sets of eyes, but the eyes of their son that was coddled in his mother’s arms. Prior to this, I had been nervously looking around the room, avoiding eye contact. But as soon as looked in their eyes I saw their humanity. Before this they were just strangers, but after they felt more like friends. It was humbling to feel such a strong connection without words of any kind. Following my face-to-face communication, I experienced phone-to-phone communication with my mother. I called her to discuss possible plans for the upcoming parents weekend at Loyola. She regretfully informed me that she will not be able to come. I told her I understood and I would miss her, but because it was over the phone so she could not see my underlying disappointment. However, she could tell by the tone in my voice that I was upset. She reassured me that I will see her and my family the following week for fall break and my sadness soon faded to anticipation for my trip home. Later that night I texted my best friend from home to catch up on our week. Her texts were unenthusiastic and I assumed it meant something happened earlier that day that would make her upset with me, or someone else.  After asking her if anything was wrong she reassured me that she is doing well, but was busy with homework and could not really talk. Communication that is done online through text or social media lacks depth. I recalled the encounter I had earlier that day that was face-to-face between the couple in the hospital and I imagined what it would have been like if it was exchanged online. This would have robbed us of the moving experience we all shared through simple eye contact.

I did not find it as challenging as I expected to put my phone away for an hour. I actually found it incredibly relaxing. Regardless of if I want to or not, I constantly feel pressure to update my friends via texting, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. Social media is exhausting and I found that the hour I lost with my phone was an hour I gained with myself. I spent more time talking with my roommates and catching up on homework. It was also a lot easier to stay focused on a task without the constant reminder that my classmates are having fun and I am on the other end observing it. For the future, I intend to put my phone away when doing homework in order to focus more effectively and even when I spend time with friends to fully immerse myself in the moment.

Through this process, I became exposed to various ways of communication that I was otherwise unaware of. The Jesuit exercise of self-awareness allowed me to fully reflect on myself and the moments that I share with others not just face-to-face, but through the world of media we live in today.

iExamen: Conversations Without Sound

On Friday September 29^th, I woke up in a frenzied panic at 10:07 realizing I forgot to set an alarm the night prior which led me to oversleep. I had 23 minutes to get ready and make it to work on time. I threw on my clothes, put my hair in a careless ponytail, brushed my teeth and left my apartment. My frazzled appearance and speed-walking conveys the message to others that I was in a rush and had no time to waste. I was in the zone and was determined to make it to work without being stopped by anyone. I made it to work with barely a minute to spare. My heavy breathing and disheveled look communicated to my boss that I was having a rough morning which caused her to give me a sympathetic look.

I left work and made my way to my only class of the day, a 50-minute Psychology lab. By the early afternoon, I had calmed down and composed myself. One of my lab partners asked me about the stickers I have decorating my laptop. I realized that my stickers give off an impression to others about what kind of person I am. It shows my favorite animals, foods, colors, and pop-culture references. Without saying anything, my laptop paints a simple picture of my personality.

After lab I had an event for a service organization I am a part of. We had a canvas painting event as a part of recruitment for Tau Delta Omega, a community service society focused on mental health. I decided to use this time to unplug from technology for an hour. I put my cellphone in my bag and took off my Apple Watch. The hour seemed to fly by as I bonded with my friends and made new friendships with potential members of our organization. I painted a mini canvas of something completely from scratch. Normally, I would use the internet or Pinterest to look up ideas that I could copy. Instead of replicating someone else’s work, my painting was completely my own. I am not the most artistic person so my canvas was a little sloppy but the fact that I did it all on my own made it more special and personal. While I was not using my phone, I noticed that others seemed dependent on it. I was reminded of the hectic start to my day. I was reliant on my phone to wake me up. Because I forgot to set my alarm the night prior, I lost out on time to shower and eat breakfast. It is interesting how technology can have such a heavy influence on the tone of our day. While the assignment only called for an hour without technology, I ended up not reaching for my phone for another 3 hours. It was nice to unplug and make friends without having my phone in my right hand like it usually is.

I assumed I would have an easy enough time being disconnected from technology because I although my phone is always on my person, I don’t usually check it often. My friends often express their annoyance with me because it takes me so long to reply to their text messages. It is funny how I can either be glued to my phone for hours or I can completely ignore my phone and then see how much I miss. I can miss major news from my best friend or updates from my sister. 

I ended my day with dinner at the Papermoon Diner with my roommate. When we go out to eat, we usually put our phones in a pile at the edge of the table. We have been doing this since Freshman year and we find that we always have more fun without our phones. Without our eyes glued to our screens, we can take in our environment and connect with one another. There have also been times when my roommate and I will text each other before bed even though we’re in the same room, 4 feet away from each other.

This exercise has taught me how to pay attention to what I am telling people without even uttering a word. My facial expressions, appearance and personal items can tell a story. It also has made me think about the assumptions I make about other people who I do not know simply by taking in their appearance. Is someone just having a rough start to their morning, or do they usually wear sweatpants and t-shirts on a daily basis? We communicate and interpret things all the time without even being aware of what we are doing. This exercise has allowed me to stop and reflect about my thought processes and examine their origins.

IEXAMEN 1: Communication without Restraints

Communication Without Restraints

Caroline Dennin

            Friday, September 29^th- I wake up, check my phone for messages, scroll through my social media, and then, I finally converse with my roommates. Why is my phone the first form of communication I use instead of the people actually in my presence? My only assumption relies on the idea that our world is communication obsessed- all day, all night, all over the world- people are in constant communication. This ability is something I overlook in my everyday life but this day I dedicated myself to analyzing every aspect of the way I communicate with others and conversely, how others communicate with me.

            Back to my cell phone, compared to my friends I would say I am not as reliant on it; however, this does not mean I am not always on it. As I read through my messages of the day, there is so much to say about communication via the means of texting. First, there is little to no grammar consideration- I spell things wrong and I abbreviate. Secondly, there is no sense of reality in the conversation- as I start to notice this, I yearn to hear the other person’s voice- the conversation feels emotionless. And third, there is miscommunication as I constantly fight with my sister via text about what clothes she is and is not allowed to steal from my closet. Texting, a major form of communication in my daily life, started to appear as less valuable when I compared it to real-life interactions.

            I do not have any classes on Fridays and this was communicated very clearly by the leggings and sweatshirt I got dressed in that morning. My attire said to my roommate how comfortable I was and how I planned to spend my day in a more relaxed setting. As we spent the morning together, our conversations, as almost always, consisted of joking, complaining, and trivial topics. However, this Friday afternoon stood out from most because I had an interview for a club I am hoping to join. My outfit for this encounter communicated a completely different message. As I met with the board of directors with my hair straightened attired in my nicest blazer, suit pants, and blouse my appearance told them how prepared I was for the interview. In this conversation, my posture also spoke miles. I sat as straight as a board and made constant eye-contact to deliver a professional sense of myself. The comparison between Friday morning and Friday afternoon made prevalent how unspoken things go a long way in communicating for themselves.

            Today, asking a teenager to go the hour without their cell phone or any technology would be likened to asking them to part with a limb for the day- It is sad, but honestly it is the truth. From this exercise I have learned being unplugged from technology is a blessing, not a burden. To see the real impact of this separation I tried to do a daily activity in which I usually am attached to my phone but this time without it- I went on a run and honestly, the difference was unbelievable. I had no music blasting in my ear, no way to keep track of my distance, and no distractions. As I ran through the beautiful neighborhood in Baltimore, a path I run a few times a week, I notice way more- I can see the leaves changing colors, the smiling faces of kids playing by the pond, and I can hear the sound of the wind. I am more observant and more appreciative for the path seeing it for what it truly is without any distractions. I even stop my run to take in my surroundings, something I would not have ever done before. Another blessing which took me by surprise was not knowing the time. I am the type of person that relies heavily on a schedule but without the time I felt free of pressure to run faster.

            Once I was reunited with my phone, I felt entrapped to it- to catch up on everything that I missed over the last hour, when in reality- I did not miss anything I couldn’t live without. Having my phone again only emphasized the liberation I felt without it. From this observation, I have concluded that communication in the form of technology places constraints. It is not possible to convey your message with the same emotion, delivery, and reality that you could via a real conversation. In my opinion, real conversation (in person) wins it all. And this is not just talking with my roommate while we both sit on our phones- the best way to communicate is face-to-face with no distractions because it allows you to observe more and take in more of the conversation.

A Safer City

Jeff Rider

Blog #2

         The conflict and violence in Baltimore has led to an extremely high rate of murder in the city. Erricka Bridgeford and Ellen Gee are members of the community who took an aggressive stance with the ultimate goal of having a murder free city for one weekend. Throughout this past weekend, I read several poems that have deep connections to the efforts of the Baltimore Ceasefire which took place this past August. It is possible to make a positive change in Baltimore if people come together as a city and celebrate life. 

In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Birthmark,” Aylmer is a bright scientist who is married to a beautiful young woman named Georgiana. The two live happily together however one minute detail about Georgiana causes the two individuals to grow further apart. On Georgiana’s face, lies a small birthmark in the shape of a hand, which Aylmer stresses greatly over. This natural mark is the only flaw that Georgiana has yet Aylmer still declares it must be removed. Throughout the short story, Aylmer’s obsession with the mark ends up costing Georgiana her life. This is similar to the situation that Bridgeford and Gee faced in Baltimore in the aspect that both Aylmer and the two women obsess over the negative details of an otherwise beautiful being. Although they both may be obsessive, after further observation, it is evident that Gee and Bridgeford were seeking out a positive change compared to Aylmer’s negatively obsessive change. The city of Baltimore went through an attempted 72 hour Ceasefire of which the goal was to have 3 days free of murder. Although the ceasefire was originally successful, around 40 hours in, a man was shot and killed thus breaking the ceasefire. The dedication of the two women led to the City coming together and making a positive change. Ellen Gee described the first day of the Ceasefire as extremely peaceful and she noted that the air in Baltimore felt different. Although seemingly unsuccessful, Gee and Bridgeford show how determination can change the culture of a city.

         Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper,” tells the story of a mentally weak woman who is put away in an old room to recover. This old yellow room, in which she is told to heal, only causes further madness and the woman is not allowed to contribute properly to her family. This old story portrays the idea that women were not equal with men. Gee and Bridgeford broke this idea that women are limited compared to men and they made a positive change in our world. Errika Bridgeford spoke about the ceasefire and said that numerous people from different walks of life spoke about the ceasefire and were thankful they did not have to worry about be killed for 72 hours. Their courageous work led many people to believe that change was possible in Baltimore.

         William Wordsworth ‘s “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud,” the narrator is delighted at the pleasant and peaceful daffodils, which do not have a care in the world. I believe that if Bridgeford and Gee were to examine this poem, they would say that the natural way is a way of peace and happiness. Gee spoke about this saying that no person is born a murder and that everyone should have the opportunity to live in peace. Through hard work, Gee and Bridgeford were able to bring more daffodils and more peace into the city of Baltimore.