iExam #1

Jesuit ideals focus on the dynamic processes of self-awareness. This process is a spiritual self-review where we observe God’s presence in our daily lives. For the entirety of one day, I observed the way I communicate with others not only face-to-face but screen-to-screen. I was surprised to become aware of the various factors that go into communicating beyond just using words. This Thursday, September 28th I paid extra attention to the methods I use throughout my day to communicate effectively and clearly with others.

I am apart of a volunteer program here at Loyola called Health Outreach Baltimore. At Health Outreach, we travel to Mercy Medical Center every week and advocate for various resources that are offered to underprivileged patients that they might otherwise not be aware of. I work in the Mother-Baby unit and during my shift on Thursday, I knocked on the door of a young woman and her boyfriend. I entered and introduced myself and our program asking if they were interested in hearing more about it. The look on both their faces led me to think I interrupted a special moment between them and their newborn son, but they looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and invited me to continue talking. I was overwhelmed because I now felt the pressure of not only two sets of eyes, but the eyes of their son that was coddled in his mother’s arms. Prior to this, I had been nervously looking around the room, avoiding eye contact. But as soon as looked in their eyes I saw their humanity. Before this they were just strangers, but after they felt more like friends. It was humbling to feel such a strong connection without words of any kind. Following my face-to-face communication, I experienced phone-to-phone communication with my mother. I called her to discuss possible plans for the upcoming parents weekend at Loyola. She regretfully informed me that she will not be able to come. I told her I understood and I would miss her, but because it was over the phone so she could not see my underlying disappointment. However, she could tell by the tone in my voice that I was upset. She reassured me that I will see her and my family the following week for fall break and my sadness soon faded to anticipation for my trip home. Later that night I texted my best friend from home to catch up on our week. Her texts were unenthusiastic and I assumed it meant something happened earlier that day that would make her upset with me, or someone else.  After asking her if anything was wrong she reassured me that she is doing well, but was busy with homework and could not really talk. Communication that is done online through text or social media lacks depth. I recalled the encounter I had earlier that day that was face-to-face between the couple in the hospital and I imagined what it would have been like if it was exchanged online. This would have robbed us of the moving experience we all shared through simple eye contact.

I did not find it as challenging as I expected to put my phone away for an hour. I actually found it incredibly relaxing. Regardless of if I want to or not, I constantly feel pressure to update my friends via texting, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. Social media is exhausting and I found that the hour I lost with my phone was an hour I gained with myself. I spent more time talking with my roommates and catching up on homework. It was also a lot easier to stay focused on a task without the constant reminder that my classmates are having fun and I am on the other end observing it. For the future, I intend to put my phone away when doing homework in order to focus more effectively and even when I spend time with friends to fully immerse myself in the moment.

Through this process, I became exposed to various ways of communication that I was otherwise unaware of. The Jesuit exercise of self-awareness allowed me to fully reflect on myself and the moments that I share with others not just face-to-face, but through the world of media we live in today.