Insecurities, Isolation, and Imperfection

My service-learning at Tunbridge Charter School has yet to begin, but while reading “The Birthmark” by Nathaniel Hawthorne, “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, and “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud” by William Wordsworth, my excitement and curiosity continues to grow. I found that the short stories and poems from this week’s reading revolved around the theme of loneliness, isolation, and insecurity. Experiencing these emotions can lead to negative relationships with those around you, as well as a lack of self-love and happiness.

As I prepare to start my service at Tunbridge, I can’t help but feel slightly nervous about how things are going to go with the teacher and students I am with. I believe that establishing a solid, professional relationship with a teacher would be beneficial, because, similar to the readings, feeling isolated and insecure will not make me work my best.

Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Birthmark” tells the story of a beautiful woman, Georgiana, and her husband Aylmer. Aylmer believes Georgiana is a beautiful woman, but he mentions that her only flaw is a red, hand-shaped birthmark on her cheek. Aylmer believes that this birthmark is the only “defect” Georgiana has, and it says “No, dearest Georgiana, you came so nearly perfect from the hand of Nature that this slightest possible defect…shocks me, as being the visibly mark of earthly imperfection.” (Hawthorne 467) It is only until Aylmer constantly mentions the birthmark and asks Georgiana about removing it, that she begins to feel insecure about it. Aylmer’s desire for his wife to be absolutely perfect is what ultimately kills her—Georgiana dies shortly after the birthmark is gone. In my opinion, “The Birthmark” is an example of the danger of seeing only imperfections, rather than overall beauty. We as humans are constantly obsessed with making improvements and making everything as perfect and flawless as we can. Often times, the “mistakes” and “flaws”, however, are just as important. I believe this reading is an important reminder to anybody; we cannot dwell on imperfections, but rather accept them and learn from them. I think this is a lesson I will take with me to Tunbridge as well—especially when working with children, it is so important to realize that nothing is ever going to be perfect, and that there could always be problems or imperfections.

Similar to “The Birthmark”, “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman is another short story which examines imperfection, while also connecting this with the effects of isolation and mental illness. The story follows a woman who suffers from a mental illness--I believe depression. She spends her time alone and is often tired and stays in bed, while often talking about her husband John, who is a physician and takes care of her. As the story progresses, I began to see the similarity to “The Birthmark”, where a loving husband wants his wife to be as close to “perfect” as possible. John wants the narrator to stay in her one room, with the yellow wallpaper which continuously bothers her mentally. Though John is doing what he believes is best for his wife, her mental struggles could not be helped with her confined to a single room. I found this piece extremely intriguing to read. It felt as though I was speaking with the narrator casually, while learning about her daily struggles. The importance of experience and inclusion really showed through this story for me, as well as made me think about how as children are in school, it is important for them to develop and grow around others.

The final reading, “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud”, was my favorite reading of this week. This poem, though simple, celebrates not being lonely, but rather recognizing what is around us. The speaker of the poem does not dwell on loneliness, but rather lets his mind take him to an un-lonely nature. He says, “A poet could not but be gay, in such jocund company…” (Wordsworth) I enjoyed this piece because it got me thinking about how, in any situation, our minds have the option of dwelling and continuing to feel lonely or isolated, or they could be happy when looking at what nature has to offer.