iexam #2

Devoting one day to acting completely kind and true was much harder than I expected. As I first read the directions to this assignment, I giggled to myself because I like to think I always act this way. Brought up with a bunch of sisters, I learned the value of kindness and generosity as my parents always taught me to give myself to others through kind actions and service. Because of this, I have always liked to think that I am constantly acting with only kindness, usefulness, and truth. However, dedicating a day to paying attention to my actions helped me tune into my flaws and understand that I still have a long way to go when it comes to treating others with these virtues.

One of the most interesting things I observed throughout the day was my relationship with my roommates. My roommates and I always joke around with each other, and I am constantly making fun of them, in a seemingly funny way, just as they are making fun of me in return. No matter how mean the comment, I am always playing it off in a friendly, best friend type of way because deep down we all know and understand our mutual love for one another. But as I started to pay attention, I realized that many of the comments and “jokes” we throw around actually hold unkind meanings that can be truly hurtful. I have always learned to suck it up and play off the jokes, because I know that in return they have to do the same. When I started to take a minute to pause and listen, my heart began to hurt a bit on the inside. I realized that the mean and harmful comments I too often say to my best friends can have an impact, even though we push these impacts down and laugh about them anyway.

The way my friends reacted to my kindness and truthfulness throughout the day really surprised me. We all went out to eat together and my two best friends started to gossip, and I fell silent and continued to drink my soda at the table while they carried on their conversation. About five minutes later, one of my friends said, “Meg, is everything ok? You’ve barely said a word.” I found it interesting that one of my best friends was calling me out for choosing to be nice. I responded and said, “Yeah everything is fine!” and continued to sit and listen. As subjects of the conversations changed throughout the meal, I was surprised that each one had to do with another one of our friends, and more and more gossiping. I left the meal and thought to myself how harmful our conversations were and how without this experiment, I would have been just as involved in the gossip and would never have thought anything of it. I got a feeling of true sadness when I came to the realization that my friendships revolve around talking about other people and gossiping and putting others down.

I was also particularly captivated by the role that technology played in this assignment. As I scrolled through my Instagram feed, I tuned into the fact that all the comments on my friends’ pictures entailed words such as, “This is so beautiful!” and “Omg you are perfect.” It made me think twice about the truth behind all these comments. Did all these nice compliments really mean something? And were they really truthful? I began to understand that the comments thrown around on social media were merely about physical appearance rather than about the person underneath, and many of them came across as fake and forced. Other than the comments themselves, I realized that social media puts up a front of people that cannot be farther from the truth. All of my friends’ Facebook pages entailed endless pictures of college nights out, and perfectly captured moments. What was not shown on these Facebook pages, though, was the endless nights of homework they endure and homesickness they suffer from. I came to the conclusion that social media, while it provides a fun and engaging way for people to stay in contact, can put on a misleading mask on people’s true life.

Not only did this day of kindness, usefulness, and truth help me realize a lot about my relationships and surroundings, but myself. I now know that I have a long way to go, and hope that in the future I will pause and think twice about what I say and whom I say it about. I hope that I can make even the smallest of changes in my conversations to veer them away from other people and meaningless gossip. I know that I will never be perfect, and I will fall very short most of the time from accomplishing this, but I am so glad that I have started to realize the impacts of my friendships, conversations, and social media by taking a minute to pause and listen.