After spending a few weeks at
Tunbridge now, I am beginning to feel like I am really becoming a part of Ms.
Sanford’s class and the school community. The students recognize me and know my
name, look forward to seeing me each week, and constantly ask questions about
my family and house back in New Jersey (a concept that baffles them). Each week
when I arrive during their independent math work time, I walk around the room
helping guide any students who are struggling towards the answers. Then during
Word Study, I do the same, looking out for any students that might need
assistance, and preparing snack. After word study is snack and “content” where
students discuss anything from “tattling vs getting help” to holidays or
current events. This time is often on the rug and there are a few students who
are typically a problem during this time as they are unable to sit still or
obey instructions. During content time, I am typically in charge of “dealing”
with these students, keeping them focused, redirecting their needs, and
implementing any discipline or consequences that come from their continued misbehavior.
Next is either dance, art, or music, depending on the week, and during this
time I either go with the class to their specials and help that teacher, or I
stay with Ms. Sanford and help her with everything from photocopying,
lesson-planning, grading, or classroom organization. My day at Tunbridge ends
at lunchtime, where I sit with the students as they eat, this is my chance to
get to know them and connect with each student. After lunch, I walk with the
class to recess and head back to our campus from there.
This
week’s readings are all very different in terms of topic and content, but all
carry similar messages regarding my time at Tunbridge. Dunbar’s “Theology”
tells of the speaker’s perception of the afterlife, heaven and hell. He tells
that he is sure there is a heaven, because he has always felt that in his soul,
and that he knows there is a hell, because that is where his neighbors are
destined. Although he lightheartedly expresses his distaste for his neighbors,
he is also talking about big concepts like heaven and hell, and how his
concepts of those- and their existence- are definite; it would seem that even
if he wished there were no hell, there has to be, or else “where would my
neighbors go?”. There is no way to change the fates of heaven and hell. In “Tableau”
by Countee Cullen, we see another “definite” concept, that of the division of
race. This concept is different, because it is not definite in nature, the way
that heaven and hell are, but it is definite only because we do nothing to
change it, accepting it as a fact. This is true until the two characters in the
poem, a black boy and a white boy walk together, casting aside their
superficial differences. Here, we see something that can be changed, even if not as easily or in the way one might hope.
Our final reading this week is the first half of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. A large portion of the first half of
the book is about Frankenstein’s regret and agony over the series of events he
has caused. The monster’s creator feels responsible for the death of his brother,
his dear servant, and the grief that came along with these to everyone in his
family. No matter how much he wishes he could, Frankenstein cannot “uncreate”
the monster, and he cannot bring his loved ones back to life, or release his
cousin and father from their anguish. However, towards the end of the first
half, Frankenstein faces the monster, who gives him the choice either to help
him, and he will be more than willing to leave him, his friends and family, and
all other humans alone, or he can continue to scorn the monster, who will
continue to unleash anger and destruction on those dear to his creator.
Frankenstein may not be able to change his creation of the monster or undo his
acts of violence, but he does have the choice to redirect these actions in the
future.
These
readings, although carrying very different themes, all have a similar take-away
with regards to my service-learning at Tunbridge: some things I can change,
some things I cannot, and I do not have control over which is which. Although I
would like to fix some of the things that happen in the outside-of-school lives
of the students I work with, or completely eradicate the behavioral problems
that go along with these factors, I cannot, and fixating on trying to change or
“fix” these things will not help anyone, and may even do more harm than good.
What I can do is make connections with these students, giving them one more
person to talk with and build trust with, I can help the struggling students
with their work in class to keep them from falling further behind, and I can
use this relationship and trust to help keep them on track during problem times
like content time on the rug. Even though I cannot change what a child’s home
is like or “cure” a behavior disorder, I can make just as significant a
difference in small pieces, like keeping them from getting frustrated while
completing a math worksheet, or letting them tell me about whatever they are
passionate about over lunch.
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